Friday, October 2, 2009
Okay this is how to feel better ABIT, while going through an emotional downfall.
or at least, this only works for me.
-Listen some heavy hardcore music while headbanging and nothing else matters.
-Drinking till your heart drop, it doesnt matters anymore when your has fallen off.
-Hang out with your best buddies, always feel the best when with them
-Someone there for you. Really thankful when ppl are there when i need them. Thanks jie :D!
--Hi at 1:46 PM
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
I just did something that i would regret for the fucking whole of mylife.
I just fucking show attitude to all my friends whom i really had fun with.
I shown so much attitude, im really sorry.
But it was my stupid emotion that had controlled me.
The jealousy that i held for so long.
It was unleashed while i was sober
but it seems no one took it seriously
then it seems when i became serious
im just a jerk
if possibl
i want to relieve that time,
be a nicer person
not so much attitudfe
and the worst of all
not being so rude to you.
i wanted to be good to you
i wanted to be a nice guy
even if i could only be a friend
making you happy is just enough to let me happy
im sorry for so much that i have said
im sorry for asking you to shut up
i really felt damn sad afterwards
cant face you guys anymore.
im such a loser
fking loser
you did the right thing by rejecting me.
P.s it sucks to cry in bed when you are already 18. fking loser i say.
--Hi at 3:04 PM
Monday, September 7, 2009
does anyone know how bad it feels to pissed at someone you like?
--Hi at 8:25 PM
Saturday, August 22, 2009
God damn it, i really dont understand girls.
--Hi at 9:36 AM
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Tomorrow last day or MSC and yet oddly enough, it felt different from EMRS.
Totally different in fact.
let me elaborate more on it:
EMRS, i felt that i didnt get enought of emrs, i which that all 3 years in nyp was with that bunch of emrs peeps and just have nonsense everyday, those time were the best i had during NYP and we didnt even get to have a proper farewell, we have our last day packing all the fucking stocks, we didnt have a last week like other batch where they could have their final farewell, and what we got is just a farewell from our favourite mr. chong. the next thing you know, here comes MSC. Each of us just went on our own ways. that suck happiest 8 weeks, and all just seems to be gone forever.
In short: Best time of NYP, Worst Last day with the ultimate suckiest feeling.
MSC, Started of a slow one, boring too. missing all the emrs peeps, and the occasionaly sem1 friends. but as time pass, still get to know my future classmates, slacking seems like an everyday duty. handicap toilet smoke ahaha. But still have some moments where i really enjoyed and some moment that sucked, MSC give me loads of mixed feelings. mostly negative though. thought that it might be a repeat of year1. trying hard to not make it happen.
In Short: Felt like my Sem1, it was fun, but not that great. stuffs happen during these time, kinda sad actually. but oh well.
and oddly enough, EMRS time was a total blast but when im in cheers its not at all. just like heaven and hell. wonder why......hmm.
--Hi at 8:44 AM
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
First i would love to say that i am fucking glad that i have great friends around me, AND I MEAN REALLY GREAT.
My sec school friends are nothing but rtards that can do nothing to me but laughters on my face.
they are really that awesome.
Some of the NYP mates, that really make my day each time i get to meet them.
Including some of my outside friends.
These peeps really make me have fun, even though im having a bad day or when im having some low self-esteem issues. I think i should say that im lucky.
But then i would also say i wasnt born to be this lucky too, it seems like i just dont have the luck with the people around me eh? today just proved how bad i am at social life, or more specific, love life. Balls of steel? my ass.
Just seems that what way i do, i am unable to get anyone's heart, and i really mean ANYTHING, from nice guy to a total asshole. people might say i did not put enough effort or whatsoever , well i agree, im not like the greatest,sweetest,most romantic or daring person in the world, but i want to put in effort, but i just dun have the fucking guts to do it. god damn it ray, you suck balls. or maybe isit fate??
i dont know what to do, what i want, or what i am anymore
a sign or help please? anyone?
--Hi at 5:57 AM
Monday, August 17, 2009
Decided to blog something again, after someone wanted me to blog
Well here i am again, still breathing.
But even after like 6k years of not writing anything on this journal, i have nothing that i want to type out.
Dont know why, just that, i dun want to say anything, its like secrets and emotions, are all kept deep in me, i and never want to say them out, why you asked? i dont know either, maybe i just thought that emotions arent meant to be shared, negative emotions will just affect people around you, causing a chain reaction of sadness among your peers.
But today will be a change, today its time for me to start changing, up to a certain extent only though, but at least i should be more open, ppl say i have a face who bottled up everything, yeah its time for me to bottled up less things, share negative emotion with ppl whom are really there for you is another different thing, this is what i learnt. they will comfort you, be there for you and when you smile to their comfort, they would in turn, smile too, so actually, by sharing negative stuff with optimisitc people, the result would be a positive one too! ahahahah
so here i am with my new blog post, putting a statement of what i want to do now, a new change. and i really hope i am able to be more open with my new change, bless me and wish me best of luck.
--Hi at 9:33 AM